This is a very short outline, so I can’t make specific comments as to the points you intend to make. However your introduction has nothing to do with the assigned topic of the paper and needs to be rewritten.
Read the general comments on the rough drafts that I posted on the “(Almost) Daily Bulletin” page this morning. Lydia Fish September 22, 2008, at 09:51 AM
I never quite thought of the continuity upseting hard core tolkien fans, thats an excellent point! However, you should explain why these changes needed to be made and the reasons Jackson and crew thought that their edits would make for an overall neater and better package. The commentary is definately helpful. Brian Nacov September 18, 2008, at 04:15 PM
I think that you have a good outline. The ideas just need to be expanded in the paper (I know this is just an outline). This should make for a great paper after turning that outline into a fully developed paper. Sarah Chudyk?
The introduction is very strong and you have good plan for the rest of the paper. I would just be sure to separate your ideas a bit so you can fully develop them later on. Eligh Hanning?
Great start! your paper has some really good points. when you are writing your final draft just make sure you develop all of your points and everything will come together beautifully. Jenelle Jones
I liked how you pointed out that Gandalf and Pippin were able to see the light from Minas Morgul. It creates a connection between those characters and Sam and Frodo, who are never far from the minds of any members of the fellowship. Annika Laughlin? September 16, 2008, at 08:44 PM
I think your points are good so far. I think they may be a little underdeveloped yet. Make sure you talk about problems that Shippey raised in the paper we read!!! I do like how you acknowledge that Jackson worked hard to make sure he made the movie as close to the book as possible instead of JUST selling the film. Good start! Keilah Bradley September 16, 2008, at 04:48 PM]]
You have some good points that I think you should elaborate more on. The history part was a great introduction to start your paper off too. I think you should include some more difficulties that Jackson faced such as ones that Shippey mentioned or ones that we talked about in class. Great start though! Carly Lopez?
Sounds really good and your making some great points. Oh and orcs is spelled ORCS and not ORKS just to let you know. Other than this, it is pretty solid so far. Good Luck Donald Turner September 16, 2008, at 12:02 AM
Although you make some interesting points, you may want to focus more on the difficulties presented to and dealt with by Peter Jackson in the Return of the King. Steven Wilser? September 15, 2008, at 10:23 PM
I think you came up with alot of ideas for a great start. At one point you mentioned that the “beam of light emitting from Minas Morgul is seen by both Frodo and Sam outside the city and Gandalf & Pippen in Minas Tirith”. Can you think of any other scenes where Jackson connected separate groups together? Are there any of these scenes that did or did not flow well together? Lauren Brych? September 15, 2008, at 11:25 AM
It would be best if you explained what “Freytag’s pyramid” is, or if it’s too complicated to summarize in a sentence or two without deviating from the purpose of the paper, ommit it. I was really confused on that, especially with it’s placement towards the end of your draft. Devon Cozad? September 15, 2008, at 09:48 AM
I like how you talked about Jackson’s appreciation for the books. That’s an important point…becuase he really digs deep to make sure these films are something Tolkien can be proud of. But I think you should mention Shippey…somewhere, as that’s what a portion of the paper should be about. Joseph Bella? September 14, 2008, at 11:42 PM
You would have to develope most of the points that you mention in the body statement. This is because you raise some very interesting points and I would like to see how you develope them. Trudy Antwi September 14, 2008, at 10:09 PM
I agree with Elizabeth, the history is a nice touch. I think it would be a nice addition if you can find some examples of upset fans from a blog or other website. I’m sure you could find some “purists”. Brittany Thrun ? September 14, 2008, at 07:10 PM
I know this is a rough draft, so I think you were just writing one sentence per idea that you will further develop in your final. I liked that you are thinking about the challenges of Arwen and following the varying journeys of the company, but I think you need more examples of specifically what challenges Jackson. Part of the paper is to also examine Shippey’s suggestions. You need to edit some sentences to make them flow better, and you were missing a lot of endings on words (s, ed, ing). You also ended a sentence with “were.” The second sentence in the second paragraph is confusing for me.Emily Marvin? September 13, 2008, at 09:51 PM
I thought it was a great idea how you begin with a little history about Peter Jackson, and how this movie was different from other movies he has done. I also liked how you pointed out that movies and books are different mediums and therefore need to be executed in different ways. I would like you to expand more on the meaning of “purist edition” and “Freytag’s pyramid.” Kelsey Till September 12, 2008, at 09:11 PM
I like reading the little history that you gave at the beginning of your rough draft. However, I had a hard time following what you were trying to get across in the first body statement. I would like you to maybe expand a little more on each point in that paragraph to make each statement more clear. I think you need to expand more on “the pursuit” edition. Elizabeth Delano? September 13, 2008, at 09:34 PM
’‘’Outline
Intro
Peter Jackson as a director has the ability to thoughtfully turn words on a page into a captivating movie. Though he had never done such a thing in his past movies, which were either fictional or based on true stories, he was successful in presenting an respectful depiction of the events found in Tolkien’s middle earth.
In 1997 he gathered the rights to the movie and began to undertake the huge task of turn Tolkien’s “the Lord of the Rind” into a epic on screen trilogy. An interesting corolation between Jackson and Tolkien was that both were encouraged to turn the Lord of the rings into 3 section series but each had a different interpretation. If you look at literature and movies making as two different languages the act of translation does not produce identical copies. As a result Jackson took some artistic liberties to make the movies just as engaging as the books are.
Body Statement- What is encapsulated in the words of an author in not always seen through to the screen. -supporting facts Characters such as Gimilie and Legolos are not fully developed and used at times as mockeries of their true selves to better entertain the audience. eg. The pursuit of the hoard of orks carrying Merry and Pippen. Arwen’s roll is changed as to present her more frequently in the movie, just not as Aragorn’s absent love. The movies had significantly less obvious divisions of time between the separated parties roaming middle earth than the book. Frodo and Sam’s story is view at multiple times during the film not just the end as it was in the Return of the king. In Jackson’s ommision’s and changes he risks the loyalty of straight edge fans who would rather not see a character misconstrued or a certain event ommited or totally changed. eg. The “purist edition”
Statement- Jackson’s interpretation did add in a postive way to the overall outlook on the LOTR series. -supporting facts The filmmaker was sensitive to those who are unfamiliar with the story or previous film by recapping. Merry and Pippen at the tower of Orthac explain the past onslaught of the Ents to the party of Gandalf and Aragorn. And isolating the books in such a manner that if they were to sand alone they would still be interesting, if not as meaningful, to a new viewer. Though this can go either way, the fact that one can actually see Tolkien elaborate descriptions of costume, creature, battle, and landscape turns what one could only imagine before into reality. Reaches out to a large audience and makes the story available through another medium, not just literature One may see the movie and then buy the book further contributing to Tolkien’s legacy. When Frodo and Sam are frequented in the movie they are tied into the time line with the other characters, beam of light emitting from Minas Morgul is seen by both Frodo and Sam outside the city and Gandalf & Pippen in Minas Tirith
Conclusion- Jackson spent a lot of energy to coincide with what Tolkien intended rather then to just sell the films, some events were still dramatized and he chose, lets be realistic, to follow Freytag’s pyramid which makes perfect sence in any epic movie. -
