Well, it’s a collection of really interesting ideas, but it isn’t a rough draft yet! You do not include any internal citations (or a list of works cited), so I have no idea of how well or how badly you are using your sources.
First, you need to establish in your thesis statement why a comparison between Shakespeare and Tolkien is relevant. (I think that it is and I can think of several reasons why, but I need to hear your thoughts on the subject.) You then need to develop an argument which explains this comparison, using your scholarly sources and direct quotations from Shakespeare’s plays and Lord of the Rings to support your ideas. You also need to do a LOT of work on capitalization, punctuation (especially commas) and the use of italics. Your title should not be “Difference and Similarities of Tolkien and Shakespeare,” it should be “Differences and Similarities Between Shakespeare and Tolkien.”
I have put a link at the top of this page if you care to post a “real” rough draft. Since I will not have time next week to check this page on a regular basis please send me ANGEL mail when it has been posted and I will look at it.
I also strongly suggest that you show the next draft of your paper to one of the tutors at the Writing Help Desk in Butler Library 214. Lydia Fish November 30, 2008, at 04:46 PM
Your paper seems to great and well written. You just need to add quotes into your paper. Your introduction seems well thoughout and it goes right to your thesis. You just need to expand on what you wrote more. Donald Turner November 13, 2008, at 05:33 PM
You have an interesting topic and paper. You have strong discussions and I believe your final draft will be great. Steven Wilser? November 13, 2008, at 04:39 PM
I like how you started off with a quote; it gives you something to think about. I think this is a great topic to write about and think it is interesting how you discuss different Shakespeare plays. You are definitely off to a great start with your paper. You should have a great final paper.Sarah Chudyk? November 13, 2008, at 10:17 AM
I started reading, and you pulled my right in with that quote. Excellent job. I might suggest you tell the reader who said that quote. Was it Tolkien? It’s a good guess, but unclear. Other than that — the paper looks promising. Joseph Bella? November 13, 2008, at 12:08 AM
You have a lot of really good ideas although this is definitely a very rough draft. By incorporating some of the ideas you mentioned in your rough draft and follow some of the tips posted before me you can develop a great paper. I look forward to seeing how develop your ideas into a final draft. Carly Lopez? November 12, 2008, at 11:41 PM
Like everyone said, quotes are good. It would also be nice to see some citations to see where you pulled your information from. Some paragraphs need some dividing so it doesn’t seem like a wall of text. Other than that, it’s really interesting! Devon Cozad? November 12, 2008, at 08:50 PM
I think your finished draft should have quotes from both Shakespeare and Tolkien. Very nice job so far! Elizabeth Delano? November 12, 2008, at 07:17 PM
Your rough draft is good and it seems like you have a good outline to mess around with. Being a research paper, it is important to use quotes from many sources. This way your argument will be more credible. Also, the structure is good, but (I think someone already wrote this) try and transition more smoothly. Good start. Keilah Bradley November 12, 2008, at 05:05 PM
You have a lot of ideas to play with since you are comparing different works of Shakespeare with that of the Tolkien’s. Please find a ways to link all this ideas together so that you can have a unified essay. That would be the most difficult part for to accomplish.Trudy Antwi November 11, 2008, at 11:16 PM
I didn’t realize what the topic of your paper was until you started talking about specific Shakespearean plays. (Mainly because I missed the title). Overall, you have the potential to have alot to work with. The concept of breaking down several plays, such as Hamlet, Henry V, and Midsummer Night’s Dream, is a great way to frame your paper. However, if you plan on writing the paper play by play, you should make sure to identify the particular topics you’ll talk about in your introduction. (Don’t simply state in the introduction: “This paper will be comparing Hamlet to The Lord of the Rings”. Give a hint as to why!) Also make sure that the transitions from play to play flow well together. Don’t forget to use quotes! Lauren Brych? November 11, 2008, at 02:08 PM
I appreciated the use of a variety of Shakespearean plays to support your topic. Perhaps more quotes from authors would assist you when making a point. I’m really not sure the character of Hamlet is of the same caliber of Aragorn but if you have sources to support it that would make the argument more creditable. Over all I think you can write a great final paper. Good start. Sarah McNutt
I liked how you went into the fact that the elves of Tolkien are a combination of aspects of different cultures’ perceptions of elves. I think you should definitely organize your essay as you have it thus far, and should add other elements besides elves and power. You also need more quotes to support your statements. I found your essay very interesting and informative. Good job! Kelsey Till November 09, 2008, at 04:57 PM
I like your discussion of elves. You need to make sure to italicize any of Shakespeare’s works. Also, you need to include citations for the quotes, but from reading your comments, I think you already know that you need to do some work for the final. I’d say you have a good start. Emily Marvin]] November 09, 2008, at 04:26 PM
For a rough draft you have a lot of really strong ideas. Continue developing what you have started and you’ll have a great paper. I’d suggest using quotations from both Shakespeare’s plays and Tolkien’s work to avoid too much plot summary. Nice work so far! Annika Laughlin]] November 11, 2008, at 09:03 PM
The Similarities and Differences of Shakespeare and Tolkien.
This is my Very rough draft. My thoughts are still scattered but I wanted to put what I can down so I can organize later. I don’t think I budgeted my time properly, luckily the final paper will be a lot more detailed and better structured.
“I now deeply regret having uses Elves, thought this is a word in ancestry and original meaning suitable enough. But the disastrous debasement of this word, in which Shakespeare played an unforgivable part, has really overloaded it with regrettable tones, which are too much to overcome.”
Shakespearean elves were based upon Celtic mythology, in which the spirits were mischievous in nature, often appearing to kidnap children and play tricks on mortals. Shakespeare’s’ elves, such as Puck from A Midsummer Night’s Dream appear as a comedic element in order to play pranks on his fellow elves and the mortals who enter the woods. Elves in Shakespeare use their powers for trickery and entertainment and have no concern for the outside realm, never aiding in world affairs. In The Tempest, a mortal man Prospero has a collection of fairies to do his bidding, showing that the elves of Shakespeare can be controlled by less magical creations. Queen Titania of A Midsummer Night’s Dream falls to the trickery of Puck and consequently becomes infatuated with a common man Bottom the Weaver, who has the head of a donkey due to Puck’s enchantments. Shakespearean Elves incidentally are diminutive in size, as Puck describes his fellow fairies as collecting dewdrops and hiding in acorn cups. Despite the allusions to miniscule scaling, Shakespeare never fully establishes the size relations of his Elves. Ariel, from The Tempest is described as a brave spirit who commands fire and a kind of madness. Despite the comedic nature of Shakespeare’s fairies, the elf Ariel has a sense of seriousness and power that seems unfit for a miniature sprite. During the Victorian era however, many of Shakespeare’s elves became portrayed as small, winged creatures of diminutive size that trivialized the original mysterious nature of fairies. The Victorian representations of Fairies diminish their glory and create the illusion of small, weak creatures that exist only to hide behind blades of grass and occasionally play in peoples’ dreams. The Victorian elves became the common representation throughout Tolkien’s upbringing, and consequently led to his understanding of Shakespeare’s elves.
In Tolkien’s early work, the Shakespearean influence on his elves is still strongly apparent, as also seen in Cottage of Lost Play. Tolkien’s diminutive fairies whisk away children into a dream realm of magic trickery and enchantment. As time progressed, Tolkien transformed his ideas on fairies, and so his elves grew in size to that of a full man and left the dream realm for the reality of Middle-Earth. Early Tolkien elves were closely based upon the Celtic mythology that Shakespeare based his elves upon, however with time, Tolkien matured his ideas and further developed his elves to closer reflect the Norse and Anglo-Saxon elves. Tolkien’s elves became serious, spiritual beings the size of man. Tolkien elves would not fall victim to the control of man as the elves of The Tempest. Similarly, the Lady Galadriel, a queen-like figure to elves, would not be subject to trickery like that of Queen Titania, and would consequently never fall in love with an ass-headed man. Furthermore, Tolkien elves take part in world affairs and do not merely hide in the forests like Shakespearean elves. Tolkien’s elves maintain a strong understanding of their outside world, using their enchantment in world affairs and not using magic as a means to entertain themselves. Tolkien’s elves however, do concern themselves with the aesthetic qualities similar to that of Celtic folklore. Tolkien elves bridge the gap between the full-sized Germanic elves that are serious and spiritual and the Celtic elves that has a thirst for nature and the beauty that abounds in the world. Tolkien creates a hybrid of fairy-lore as his elves have an aesthetic quality and beauty while maintaining a serious overtone, even to their light-hearted songs.
Power:
Shakespeare’s Henry V deals with the many faces of war as King Henry V wages war with France for what he describes as a “fair action.” The play shows war as either a heroic enterprise or a reflection of how war brings out the worst in the participants. However, King Henry’s thin excuse for war and the devastation caused by it does not overshadow his glory as a king. Shakespeare shows that even corrupt wars and ill victories do not hide the glory of victory. Henry’s goal in war was not peace and tranquility as Tolkien’s wars were, and consequently, England suffers after Henry’s successors. Henry V relishes in the glory of battle despite his claim that it is only God’s right to boast of victory. Henry’s end goal was not to preserve peace for his people, and consequently, as often seen through history, Henry’s vain war “Made his England bleed.”
Tolkien’s wars are a microcosm of the battle of good and evil as a universal struggle. Tolkien creates a cogent cause and his characters feel the unmistakable call to war, despite much reluctance to wage war. Apart from Henry V, The leaders of Middle-Earth have no relish for charging the enemy despite a justifiable claim in doing so. Gandalf acknowledges that even if the war is won, much will be lost. The armies of men rejoice in victory not because of the glory of slaying enemies, but in the joy forged from protecting their cultures. The Rohirrim shouts songs of glory not out of the dead that has spurned beneath their army but on account they have preserved their way of life and helped defeat the forces of evil. Despite the noble cause for war in Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings, the warriors still have a motive for glory and the hope that they shall be preserved in memory and song. The exampled lust for glory is based upon their heroic actions in battling evil, and not slaying enemies. Death of the enemy is not a motive of the forces of men; victory for peace is the drive the armies share. Victory for the forces of good led to a period of peace, however not the understanding that evil ceases to exist.
Hamlet addresses the same motifs that Tolkien tackles in the Lord of the Rings. Hamlet deals with life and death, good and evil, and the struggle of enlightened men to redress wrongs in order to reestablish balance in a corrupted world. Tolkien, while a fantasy writer, has added the same realistic elements that Shakespeare chose for his revenge tragedy. Both works follow a melancholy hero who must take action against something they should love, Hamlet with his stepfather the king, and Frodo with the ring that corrupts its wearers. The doom and demise of both seems inevitable, yet Frodo survives in his efforts to bring balance back to the world of men. Both prince Hamlet and Aragorn share balanced qualities of intellect and skills at arms, wisdom and decency, all while being revered and protecting his kingdom.
